Flickers of Flame Page 10

  I could end things here. Wasn’t everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours enough proof that pursuing a relationship was too risky? Nate had Clio and his father and all the Messengers at Blakethorne to consider. And I had my mission. Liza had always stressed that the mission came first.

  For the first time, I wondered why I couldn’t have both. Why couldn’t I continue to pass information to her about medical supplies or possible raids while exploring whatever this was between Nate and me? When did what I wanted matter?

  I swallowed, meeting Nate’s eyes. “We have to tell Clio.”

  He shook his head. “I have to tell Clio. She’s my friend, and I owe that to her. But even after she knows, we have to keep this between us—until I can get everything sorted out.”

  I nodded. Even though the Keepers remained largely separate from the general population of cadets, a sudden romantic shift in our group would draw attention. “Agreed.”

  Nate’s head bobbed a few times before he turned his attention to the window. “I should get going. I don’t want to run into an infraction patrol on my way back to my dorm.”

  He was right, but the thought of him leaving made my chest ache. “Yeah, I guess.”

  He scooted closer on the mattress, lifting a hand to tuck some hair behind my ear. “Well, then. Goodnight.” He leaned forward, and his lips were just as soft as I remembered as they pressed against mine. I expected a quick peck, but I wasn’t disappointed when Nate had other plans. He wrapped an arm around my back, pulling me tight to him as he parted my lips with his tongue.

  All the doubts and anger from the last several hours evaporated, scorched by the heat burning between us. Although void of the adrenaline from fear of being caught, this kiss sent a different surge of excitement through me.

  The only other person I’d ever kissed was Derek, and it had been nothing like this. Every atom in my body electrified at Nate’s touch. And I didn’t want it to stop.

  Too soon, he broke away. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice breathy. “I have to go. But I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Disappointment welled in me, but I attempted to tamp it down. Nate needed to get back to his dorm. He couldn’t get caught sneaking out of my room. There was no way an infraction like that would stay private for long, and the last thing I wanted was to blindside Clio the way I had been. “Goodnight,” I murmured as he crossed the room. After checking out the grounds below, he tugged the sash further open and swung a leg out over the sill. I stood on shaky legs and ventured forward in case he needed any help on his way down.

  He rose from his crouching position straddling the sill to press another kiss to my mouth. “You’re trouble,” he said, grinning.

  A thrill coursed through me. “You have no idea.”

  With one last smile, he ducked outside the window and twisted his body until he faced the building. Holding onto the sill, he dangled his full height over the edge before dropping.

  He landed with barely a sound, but I still poked my head out to check on him. Seconds later, he sprang up and flashed me two thumbs up before disappearing into the shadows.

  I pulled my window closed and headed back to my bed, although I was so keyed up from Nate’s kisses I doubted I could sleep.

  Maybe moving forward with him was a huge mistake. But I had never wanted anything more.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Eden, wait up!”

  I was almost to the fountain at the center of the quad when Clio’s voice cut through the brisk morning air. I froze, my lips tingling with the ghost of Nate’s kisses last night. Despite knowing that the chancellor had orchestrated their engagement, I couldn’t ignore the twinge of guilt in my stomach when I turned to see her smiling face. “Hi.”

  “Good to see you’re feeling better,” she said, her face pinched and serious. She squeezed my upper arm. “I was worried about you last night.”

  I forced a smile. “The water and medicine helped. Thanks for leaving them.”

  She brightened. “That’s what friends are for. They’re also for kicking Bridger’s butt when he’s too oblivious to look out for one of our own.” She linked her arm through mine as we continued walking.

  “It’s not entirely his fault, though. Thor was there the whole time.” I thought back to the events that happened before I overheard Shonda talking with the chancellor. “In fact, Thor was way chattier than I’ve ever seen him.”

  Clio grimaced. “Yeah, a few glasses of tirosh will do that to him. He doesn’t drink much, but being around all those powerful people makes him nervous. Not that he’d ever admit to it.” She rolled her eyes. “He can handle himself all right when events like this are spaced out, but when they’re one right after another, they start to wear on him.”

  After what Nate had said about Thor’s lineage, it made sense why he might feel uneasy around the angelic elite. Liza and Marco had worked with enough nephilim over the years for me to know that in some ways, they were as cast aside as demons. Angels and demons were natural enemies. Angels held themselves up as paragons of virtue and looked down at demons as the antithesis of everything they stood for. They saw us as somehow less than because my kind had the audacity to think for ourselves. But nephilim were another matter. They were the product of an angel mating with a human. But even though they were born of angelic will, they were viewed as abominations. Tangible reminders of rebellion against the will of the Creator.

  For the first time, I felt a kinship with Thor. Did he face the same constant fear of being found out that had plagued me since my arrival at the academy? No wonder he liked to keep to himself, even among the other Keepers.

  I peered at Clio out of the corner of my eye. Did she know his true lineage? It made sense that Nate knew. He was the leader of the Keepers—plus his father was the chancellor. Had those in charge thought it necessary for all Thor’s teammates to know his heritage?

  Clio veered us to the right, toward the Guard Basics Academy. “Aren’t we going to breakfast?” I asked.

  “Not in the cafeteria,” she said. “We’ll be in meetings with Colonel Zagar all day to prep for the field experience tomorrow.”

  “Oh, goodie.”

  She chuckled. “These things are usually dull, but the food is always better than the regular cafeteria meals, so I count it as a win.”

  Better than the cafeteria meals? Since coming to Blakethorne, mealtimes had become something I looked forward to, as opposed to something I knew I needed to do. So what if the cafeteria’s offerings were mostly the same every day? Any meal that didn’t consist of protein paste or ration bars was a win in my book.

  Although we didn’t speak any more as she led us to the guard basics building, Clio kept her arm looped through mine the whole way. For the first time, I regretted my stolen kisses with Nate. Two nights ago was one thing. I didn’t know the whole story. But now I did. And even though Nate claimed there was no romance between him and Clio, it didn’t feel right to be kissing another girl’s fiancé. As we walked, I vowed not to kiss him again until things were out in the open.

  It was a vow I regretted as soon as we stepped into the meeting room.

  Nate was already there, looking somehow more handsome than usual in his uniform as he chatted with the colonel. He was so at ease, it was hard to believe the conversation was occurring between a high-ranking officer and a cadet. Nate’s confidence gave him an air of authority without a hint of arrogance, and I found it incredibly attractive.

  When he saw us enter, he caught my eye and smiled.

  I stumbled, and Clio’s arm was the only thing that kept me from falling.

  “You okay there?” Clio asked, tightening her grip as she helped me to my feet.

  “Yeah. I… must not be one hundred percent yet after yesterday,” I lied.

  She patted my arm understandingly. “At one point or another, we’ve all been betrayed by tirosh,” she said wisely.

  We took our spots at one of the round tables set up at the front of the
room. All the other cadets, including Bridger and Thor, had made their way to their seats by the time Nate’s conversation with the colonel ended. Although there were four empty chairs at our table, Nate chose the open one beside me instead of the empty one by Bridger, and my skin thrilled at his closeness.

  Colonel Zagar strolled to the front of the room and lifted an armful of folders off a thin rectangular table to her right. “Breakfast will be out in a minute or so. While you’re eating, I want you to peruse a copy of the dossier regarding tomorrow’s field training.”

  She strode to our table and placed a stack of folders beside Nate. He took one and passed the rest to me. Sparks shot up my arm as our fingers brushed, but I did my best to keep my pleasure from showing on my face.

  Bridger leaned across the table as the colonel moved on. “Hey, Eden. I’m sorry about yesterday.”

  I wrinkled my nose. “Why are you sorry?”

  He raised his chin. “Because Clio told me to be.”

  Clio leaned across Thor to whack Bridger with her folder. “You’re such a punk.”

  He held up his hands innocently. “No one told me I was on babysitting duty for both of them yesterday.”

  Thor lifted an eyebrow. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

  Bridger snorted. “Sure you don’t.”

  Beside me, Nate chuckled as he opened his folder.

  I fought glancing over to glimpse his elusive dimple. Instead, I kept my attention fixed on Bridger. “I accept your sort-of apology. In my defense, I probably would’ve been all right if you guys would’ve warned me what I was drinking.”

  Bridger tilted his head. “You’ve never had a glass of tirosh before?”

  I shook my head. “Can’t say that I have.”

  Bridger’s expression made me feel like I’d sprouted a second head. “I thought it was a staple in angel households everywhere. My mom pulled out a few bottles for every celebration we ever had.”

  My cheeks heated. Crud. This was exactly the kind of simple slip that would get me caught. My mind spun for a reasonable explanation, but before I could come up with one, Thor was speaking.

  “You saw the people at the parade down in West Cameron. They seemed more the mesek crowd to me.” He said it casually while flipping open his dossier, but when his eyes flashed up momentarily to meet mine, something passed between us. It was a kind of knowing. Not of what I really was, necessarily, but of understanding what it’s like to be the outsider. I wondered how many times Thor had needed to explain why he didn’t understand something that was common knowledge to those around him. For the first time since I’d met him, I felt like maybe—just maybe—Thor and I could be friends.

  When Bridger’s gaze flashed to me, I nodded emphatically. Mesek was less potent than tirosh, with the addition of spices to make up for the flavor lost by watering down the alcohol. Derek’s friend Canaan had acquired a bottle once and the two of them had split it. But according to Derek, even half a bottle was barely enough to give him a buzz. “Mesek is definitely more common in West Cameron.”

  Before Bridger could ask a follow up question, waiters in white coats arrived to set our breakfasts down in front of us. Taking advantage of the momentary distraction, Nate reached under the table to give my knee a reassuring squeeze.

  I opened my dossier and balanced it on my lap so I could scan its contents while I ate the thin, fancy pancake-like confections topped with strawberries, blueberries, peach slices, and thick, sweet whipped cream. As I looked over the description of the terrain we’d be working with and details about the building involved—thick forest and old construction with heavy fortifications—I held onto the hope that this mission was something more than guard duty for a meeting or security for a fancy party.

  The deeper I moved into the details, the more promising the assignment seemed. There were multiple locations, plus detailed travel routes. The more I read, the more I was convinced that Shonda’s claim about retrieving sensitive items was correct. We would be heading to the rural town of Stone Hollow and venturing into the woods for our first stop. Then we would travel to the city of Westerwilde before returning to the academy.

  As staff came around to remove our breakfast dishes, Colonel Zagar addressed the cadets. Although I hoped she would dive into more mission specifics, she spent the first hour discussing the purpose for and rationale behind field experiences. From the glazed expressions on the other Keeper’s faces, I could tell this was nothing they hadn’t heard before.

  At the next table, Shonda sat with a look of rapt attention on her face—no doubt for show. The other four oscillated between mildly interested and tuned-out. I wondered if any of Shonda’s table-mates had been on a field mission before.

  The colonel rounded out the morning by outlining expectations for conduct while off campus. By the time she announced it was time for a short break, I was more than ready to get out of my chair. My body was accustomed to being in motion right after breakfast, and sitting still now was making me drowsy.

  Thor was the first one from our table to stand. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I need some coffee or I’m not going to make it till lunch.”

  “I’ll take some,” Bridger said.

  “Oh, will you now?” Thor snorted, shaking his head. “Fine. Anyone else want to put in their orders?”

  Nate shrugged, grinning. “Well, if you’re offering…”

  I raised my hand. Although I’d never sampled coffee, I’d heard it was good for keeping a person alert. I wanted to be as focused as possible so I could report back to Liza about the mission.

  Clio sprang to her feet. “I’ll come with you.”

  Thor cast her a dubious look, which she dismissed with a wave of her hand.

  “You’ll need help to carry it all back,” she insisted, moving toward the door. “Let’s go.”

  As the two of them headed out of the meeting room, I stood, too. “I need to walk around a little. I’ll be back before we get started again.”

  Shonda lingered a few yards down the hall, leaning close to Ramiro Tyne as the two of them talked. Her eyes flicked to me as I drew nearer and her lips curved in a malicious smirk.

  Not wanting to know what might be causing her self-satisfied look, I veered off down the hall to my right. I really wished they hadn’t chosen her for this mission. It was bad enough having her in my classes; I didn’t want to have to deal with her when I was off campus, too.

  I strolled down the hallway, past a few empty rooms like the one we had been in and a door labeled “faculty lounge.” All my classes in this building were down a different hall. This area didn’t seem to be one frequented by cadets.

  I heard his footsteps a split second before Nate spoke. “So, how are you feeling so far?”

  “Besides bored, you mean?” I turned to face him, and the curve of his mouth automatically sent my stomach fluttering. “A little anxious, maybe. I wish they’d give us more information about what we’ll actually be doing.”

  “That’ll probably come in the next session.” Nate slowed his pace, but he didn’t stop walking. Every step brought him nearer until he stood so close my skin tingled. “I wanted to check in with you. When I left last night, everything seemed okay between us. But things can change in the light of day.”

  At this distance, I could practically count each of the impossibly long lashes surrounding Nate’s dark eyes. Even if I were angry with him, I wasn’t sure the emotion would hold up with him standing this close. My fingers twitched with the desire to thread through the silky curls at the back of his neck.

  But I kept my arms locked to my sides. “Still okay,” I assured him. “But no more kissing until Clio knows.”

  Nate winced, but he nodded. “I’ll tell her after the field experience. She’ll probably need some time to process, and I don’t want to put all this on her before such a big mission.”

  My stomach sank. The mission wasn’t until tomorrow. Who knew how long it would take. If we got back too late, he’d ha
ve to wait until the following day to have a discussion with her. I could kick myself for drawing my line in the sand. Going two whole days without feeling Nate’s lips against mine seemed like an impossibility.

  As if he were thinking the same thing, Nate’s gaze dipped to my mouth. He released a shaky exhale. “I probably shouldn’t be standing so close, then.”

  “Probably,” I agreed.

  But Nate made no effort to retreat. Him being so near was dangerous. With each passing moment, I felt my resolve crumbling.

  I stepped back, putting enough space between us that the temptation to reach out and touch him dialed back to a simmer.

  Although disappointment flickered across his features, he didn’t close the distance between us. “The… um… Colonel Zagar mentioned something interesting earlier.”

  I grasped onto the subject change, shaking the last vestiges of longing to be nearer to Nate. “Oh, yeah? What?”

  He leaned forward, careful not to move his feet. “I’m supposed to keep it under wraps, but you’ll find out tomorrow anyway,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. “This experience is different from any one I’ve ever been on. They’re bringing our Blades.”

  His words struck me off-center. “You had yours at the Aether Blade trials. How is this different?”

  He shook his head. “I had it for the trials. The day before, when I was patrolling the parade route, all I had was a standard-issue stunner. But something about this mission requires us having our Blades. She said we’d need them at the first stop.”

  Suddenly, the air felt thin. I inhaled, but the oxygen didn’t seem to reach me. They wanted us to use the Eternity Blades tomorrow? What reason could they have for bringing such powerful relics? The angel-fire forged blades Shonda and I fought with at the Aether Blade challenge had been dangerous enough to pierce my skin and slice my muscle. Our Blades had been forged in the eternal realm and were more powerful than other relics. Did they anticipate some kind of fight?